Porn in the Palms

Bangalore has a chameleon kind of climate, it shines bright for sometime, gets darker in the next hour, suddenly pours down heavily in another hour and it can get breezy after another hour...whatever it is you can stop loving it.

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Don’t be alarmed by my title…No its not spam post. No its not hacked post

The Indian government deciding to ban Porn has created much furore everywhere. Debates, discussions, protests, memes and of course support have started all over the nation. Our publicity obsessed celebrity Ram Gopal Varma has already tweeted his opinion in several tweets about this new ordinance. He opines banning something like porn is not going to help but worsen the effects of this industry. In fact banning anything in India is like sweeping the dust under the carpet. Anyways the government revoked the decision within hours of announcing complete ban to limiting the ban to child pornography. 

Banning porn has been cited as a measure to control rape by the petitioner who initiated request for this ordinance. I don’t think rapists necessarily watch porn to be inspired. Its just that there is no fear of swift punishment that leading to more and more rapes. In a country that can idolize a porn star, and that can pay a porn star to shake a leg with the celebrities, how can porn be controlled totally?

Given the age of smart phones, everything and anything is available at fingertips. Can an ordinance stop something that’s as powerful as gravity....nothing can defy gravity unless you fly away from it,or you build a space around you that’s immune to gravity completely. The world of smart phones is such, from the oldest to the youngest, everyone is hooked to this device...when something is so easily available and tempting to try, how one would keep it away. If not porn, the adultery in the movies is no less than a erotic film. Everything is available at touch of a tip.
Off late, I noticed children being affected with this advancements. Whether the learning is direct or through other friends, there are kids who have been reported to be effected. In a moms public forum recently, a mom of a young boy vented ouy her frustration that her boy aged 9 has started watching porn on her smart phone...she was shocked and disgusted...before she could act against it, she received complaints from her boy's friends parents that his behavior was so awkward and he will not be entertained anymore in the friends circle. Should we blame her for not monitoring her son’s behavior or was she disguised of it. Our young ones may be smart enough to handle the smart phones better than us. It has become a best reason for many moms to brag about their kids these days...but beware you may have to face one of these ugly consequences of this smartness. Of course, she got similar responses from many other moms about to how to keep an eye on the kids and their usage of internet and of taking a psychiatrist's help to make him understand the problems associated with it etc., but what shouldnt have happened has only already happened.

In another case, at a friend’s place, I noticed a sort of incest amongst two teen cousins which was indeed shocking to me but not to my friend who was a parent of theirs. Had I uttered a word about it, I would have embarrassed myself because it no way seemed awkward to my friend. Either I might have been carried away by the negativity around or my friend might have been too immune to understand the flip side of the so called closeness. 

The other incident that I came across was about one of my extended family boy whose aged 5 started behaving weird at school and his father was called to be told about this weird behaviour. While his father couldnt figure out the reason for it, as the kid is very closely watched every minute at home, he apprehended that he would have learnt it at school from his other classmates. No sensible parent would teach his/her son such nonsense. How could a 5 year old learn something that’s a bit too embarrassing to talk about? The side effects of this industry are certainly polluting young minds to an extent that the damage can permanently scar their lives. 

The more we technologically advance, the less we evolve... once the idiot boxes were blamed for too much of adultery, now the dangerous little device seems even more damaging. If one restricts it from usage, children may find ways to access it otherwise. I remember when I was a kid, video games were considered to be addictive and ruining. Now every other kid is hooked to it. I wish the same doesn’t happen with Porn. If you have young ones at your home, make sure you rightly engage them, do not leave them for their own entertainment for long time. You never know what can creep into their little palms.

The other day I read an article in social network about a father's advice to his son on watching porn and getting addicted to it. Father says 'Son, you may watch porn and enjoy it but dont believe it for real and dont confuse it with reality....it is an industry where people are paid to act, it is a fantasy act indeed. If you expect it to happen in your real life, I must say you will never ever be happy with your sexual life. The way you watch a movie and understand its not for real but for some entertainment, the same way you watch porn and forget it. Because the problem with the latter is, it can kill your mind like a bug to try the same....once you start responding to the bug, mark my words...you will start ruining your life, Period.' I cant agree more with the father. Though its a personal prerogative whether to watch it or not, a person with values, or at least a logical thinker would understand the hidden spoilers of it and keep it away.

Cheers

Jyostna

HappY Mother'S DaY

Happy Mother's Day everyone. 

I have been longing to write but as I mentioned in my last post, I am a new mom handsful with a little lovely daughter. But I wanted to make sure I post one for the Mother's Day at least, because this is my 1st Mother's Day after becoming one and writing is my favourite activity. If you ask me, so whats so special about Mother's day when you are being a mother everyday, its special because you get an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate motherhood which otherwise becomes a routine. So mommies and others, dont forget to celebrate this day. 

This post of mine is to the mothers out there who have totally intentionally and unintentionally ignored their own selves in raising their children.

Just rewinding few months in my life, the moment I saw a positive on the strip, it was a feeling that felt so strange, like butterflies in stomach. Imagining how it would be to have a life inside gave me goosebumps. I enjoyed the attention I got, the wishes that poured in, the care and pampering that came from everyone was addictive. Little did I predict that I am about to experience the drastic changes that my body will undergo in the coming months. Yes it kept changing, blessed are those ladies who glowed like florescent bulbs during their pregnancies but I was not the one in that group...I was someone who saw immense pigmentation on my skin which worried me initially as I was expecting it be some internal problem, but my obgyn assured that its part of the pregnancy. That was just the beginning. I kept on changing, the face that bloated asymmetrically by the end of pregnancy and that continued be so till now was a thing that I hated, to click a picture of mine was a favourite thing but after this, that was the last thing I want to do. 

Okay face apart, the body that grew big, the changing texture of my hair and skin was a cause of worry except for the big tummy which held a beautiful life inside. I loved my tummy of course. The popping acne on my skin was an extra bonus. And the weight that I put on in all the 9 months including the fluids that my body retained was no less than a size of baby elephant. 

I was always in the misconception that once I deliver I am going to get back to my previous body in no time like some of the celebrity ladies we get to see. Have I predicted it right, not really, it indeed got worse. The reason why I thought I wouldnt have the sign of hardship I will face in the OT was a lady whom I saw a week before my due date. She was brought out from the OT and she looked as though she just had a nice spa time...I was in the misconception that things would be so simple in the OT. Quite contrary to what I saw, I came out like a burnt charcoal with a beautiful little one beside me. It was my mom who shed tears looking at me in pain....I thought she was off her senses, how would I know her feelings, after all I was a very new mom, I certainly did not understand my mom's pain. 

Later what troubled me the most than my physical changes was the pain in my stomach after the surgery, just as many of my other assumptions, I was always in an assumption that aftermath is not as hard as one would imagine....until I had a twisting pain in my intestines for the next three days, and my obgyn on her daily visits confirmed that its quite natural and there is nothing relieve it but to suffer it. 

The very step out of the bed was really like giant leap for the rest of my life. I never imagined it would be tummy tearing pain to get out of the bed. Every step seemed almost impossible and even to hold my baby in my arms was felt like holding a ton's weight. While messages and wishes came in pouring and everyone celebrated the baby arrival, my physical pain did obstruct me from feeling my baby. I really couldnt enjoy like the way they show in movies, write in stories etc.,

As days passed, the pain eased off, the soreness subsided but my body seemed like a fully grown hippo although I lost a whopping 12 kilos in just a week. Its not the weight but its the asymmetry of my body, the complexion that turned ugly, the skin and hair texture that totally lacked lustre. All these things did not immediately bother me until the day I wanted to look good...I apparently failed in looking good if not beautiful, it did not hit me even then. 

I was the one who thought Aishwarya Rai's cool attitute about not rushing to loose the pregnancy weight was an inspiration and I did mention the same in one of my posts  earlier. So it was not hard in the beginning. But as days passed and I got busy not really looking at myself but only my baby and home and on one fine day when I felt like taking a selfie and tried not one but tens and every one of them turned out duds and sometimes ugly, I started cursing myself, hating myself and in couple of days again, I totally forgot as I got busy again with the baby. 

But it was my birthday shopping that blew me away and had a drastic impact on my self confidence...every dress I tried was like beautiful until I wore and as soon as I put it on myself, it turned out so awkward. I couldnt help but pick something that I thought was totally uncool for me to wear coz thats the only one attire that fit me properly. 

Although it hurt me badly, I remembered a post in one of the mommy forums which was all about my feelings about the body that changed totally and how it hurts to look at it over and over. If I say its okay to be odd coz am a mother, am seriously bluffing myself. Its not okay be odd, being a mother is not the end of my life. My little one should be happy to have a mom who feels beautiful inside and outside. There is absolutely no wrong in aspiring to be beautiful and get back in shape unlike many new mommies who think its insane to crave for beautiful body and image. 

They say mind body and spirit should be beautiful and healthy to lead a happy life. Being beautiful doesnt mean to become a bikini model or get ramp ready but at least to be beautiful at extent of not hating yourself and think its all over. So ladies who all relate to what I have mentioned, do take charge and start getting back to shape or make sure you look happy and well groomed. The 1st step that you can do is to be groomed and tidy. A well groomed mom appears happy and reassures that things are okay. Trust me even your little one will love watching you so.  And of course, your husband who really stopped looking at you will definitely get back. 

I know I may have appeared like someone who is obsessed with beauty, fit body etc but how many of you realised that going for the healthy diet and workouts are most important after delivery....I myself started experiencing hormonal troubles for which the solution was to be less stressed, eat healthier diets, and work out. Its not only a mental state of mind that hurts but also the physical body which needs the much awaited workout after long months of pampering. If you are happy and satisfied in your skin, forget what I said ;)

I hope some of you can relate to me, if so do share your wonderful experience. I would love to read them. 

Be a happy mom and do celebrate the big day :)

Cheers 

Jyostna

Me the Mommy

Its a big announcement to all my readers, I am blessed with a baby girl on 5th January.  Its the biggest blessing I can ask for. A very happy and most cherished moment for a lifetime. Million Thanks to God for showering her to us. What else would keep me so occupied expect my little princess...time flies so fast that its already been 3 months and my maternity leave is also over. But I couldnt sit for few minutes on my page to update this news...I hope the new mommies will relate to what I say while rest may wonder is it really that hard.

Pregnancy as read and told is not an easy phase in a woman's life. The 1st two trimesters were not hard on me and I kept boasting how easy my pregnancy was but as I entered my third, the books and stories and experiences I read turned out to be true. If pregnancy was a phase there wouldnt be a day without any little difficulty, the next phase of being a new mommy is even more tough. However, the excitement of being a new mommy and looking a your little bundle of joy, every mother forgets the difficulty she has gone through and is going through. 

Every mother would have experienced the moment the baby is first seen and many art forms tried to depict the emotion but after experiencing the real moment, I thought everything falls short of expression to express such ecstatic moment. They are moments for lifetime. 

What am living is a phase that I never dreamt of, although I had great love for children, I never really understood the realities behind raising a child until I am blessed with one.
Before having baby I never really sacrificed my sleep for anything not even to study overnight, but my baby put me through the sleep deprivation phase almost for 2 months, I couldnt sleep tight as I  was subconsciously worried if my little darling might need me..I can write pages about the experiences that I have had right from my pregnancy and post delivery,..may be I should write them in a separate section. So, they might be useful to about to be moms.

Here I pause and will get back with new posts, hopefully frequently if my darling permits me to.

Cheers

Jyostna