Beating the Blues like Champ Mum

There are too many illusions around us that lure in a way that we begin to believe thats real. I have been through such since a long while. I created a perplexity around me. The mist of myth is slowly fading to reveal the reality. I read this beautiful line "monotony & solitude stimulates a creative mind" Many a times, either the monotony or the solitude keeps missing, and then we never realize that we have a creative mind and it can create wonders. 

Off late, I have made peace with my situation and I am more still and calm than ever before. It takes a lot to accept and come to terms with something that you have never contemplated. Though I never personally endorsed the stereotyped choices, at a certain point I started getting succumbed to such. The moment I cleared my mind of what I really am, I understand I am crossing over my own path. All I am talking about is an inner battle a new mom goes through. The stereotyped thinking I meant is either you choose to leave your little one with a daycare/parental care or you pause or give up your work to look after the baby. 

For many, including me pausing work is a big reason to start feeling low and give up dreaming about making it big that once you are. Your world starts to slowly cringe down to few others like you and you drift away in a world thats too far from what have created once. This happened to me and many others I know. Thats when we feel lost, depressed and sometimes not at ease. I honestly was not at ease though it was absolutely my choice to stay at home. For many moons, I stayed in a bewildered sphere. I kept consoling me as if I was sacrificing. This kept going until I got saturated and stressed. And then this crazy yet meaningful life changing thought came to my mind....I wondered what is that I am really missing, why I am unable to completely enjoy what I chose with my heart, why is the happy decision seeming more difficult to be pulled off??? In calm moments, I realized what makes me happy. 

I identify myself as a person who dwells where happiness is, no matter if it requires me to give up something and even if that something sounds too enticing, and my decision seems too adventurous and difficult. And I stood by those decisions, because they made me happy, they left me with beautiful memories. Had I chose to live otherwise with those somethings, perhaps I wouldnt have made great memories neither I would have felt so happy. And that was realization. There are many out there who have been boggling in this sphere, but just break away from the mundane and give it one clear thought, I am sure you will find your answers. I may sound like one old psychiatrist but thats very true. I kept reading every other piece of write ups by SAHM(stay at home mums) & Working mums, but I honestly never found my answers. I dont know why.  I am venting out my experience now with a hope to trigger those unanswered, lost questions that you have been dealing with. If so, I shall be happy and proud of myself because I know what sort of battle it is that you have been fighting without a clue.

Now, the reality is when you really have an inner urge to make it big no matter what, there is no need to feel low. Feeling low is a mythical illusion that one has carved out of expectations and stereotypes. Accept that this is just a pause, a much needed one indeed, to have no regrets that you missed your baby's very young age. This acceptance allows you to think and imagine better things other than cribbing about missing working lifestyle like your contemporaries do. Its great if you can balance both work and baby, its great even if you chose to give up work but its not great if give up the baby. 

A mother's duty is to nurture the child with love and affection, if you choose to seek something else over this, you better dont give birth. Just because you are a social being, you need not stick to the rules of the society when you dont really believe in it, it could be marriage or motherhood. I loved what Sania Mirza said to the interviewer about being judged for not being a mother to be called an actual achiever while she conquers the top seat in her game. How insanely minuscule narrow mindset we live with? This kind of social pressure is often leading many of our women to take motherhood as a compulsive choice rather than willful choice. Let not the social pressure clinch you in any which way. You will either ways be judged, questioned, grilled and baked, so choose what makes you happy and dont stop dreaming big because you chose to step down from the race for a while, not forever. 

These are my learnings over the past year..nurturing a child is no less than a job, enjoying your time off is not a sin, dreaming big is a must, make the most of it while it lasts.

#newmom #stayathomemom #makepeace

Cheers

Jyostna

Silver is the new Gold

Silver is the new Gold. We know how obsessed we are with metal Gold, have we ever loved Silver over Gold, I dont think so. Thanks to the Badminton Ace Sindhu for bringing over this new trend of loving silver instead of Gold. Her Silver medal did seem very precious than anything to us.
She definitely deserved Gold but there was someone even better than her who flew away with Gold after playing the toughest and perhaps the most interesting game of her life. But none of us have been mean to Sindhu for not winning the best. We were contended with the second best and rained accolades for her performance. But why?? because we all witnessed how well our girl fought giving all she had and did not loose her spirits for once. Dont you think she had the greatest pressure of winning a Gold for her country which has been waiting in extreme eagerness?As a nation we never really cared when the sports champions other than cricketers excelled in many international sporting arenas. Because this is bigger than any other sporting event, and our champions forayed into finals despite so many drawbacks in the nation, we googled them to cheer them. Sadly, they have to be googled because we never knew them before. We might have found their names appear here and there but because it was not cricket or movies or scandalous, we did not care. Isnt it unfortunate? How many of us knew that Sindhu is already received a Padmasri. Now we go gaga over celebrating their success. Nevertheless, I am happy that we are looking beyond cricket and movies at least now. The welcome celebration for these winning champs is even more exciting and definitely the best. they have been felicitated very well although they were not facilitated with best sporting infrastructure before. 

There might be a million praises for Sindhu. Sakshi & Deepa, but to me they proved something else. Let me throw some light on what I felt after their winning. 

Settling for less: Yes, I mean they settled for less. It is not a joke to contend in the worlds best sporting arena with the kind of training standards that are not in par to the rest of the world and reach the finals. That itself is a greatest achievement. To win a medal is an extra boon. And not to forget they all are first timers. How could one not appreciate Carolina Marine's play, she was extremely good but Sindhu did not get discouraged. Thanks to Gopichand for mentoring her to be so strong in such pressure. She bounced back with so much force each time we thought she would loose. I had goosebumps at her display of perseverance. But the fact is Carolina was better and she won Gold and Sindhu had to accept the Silver. But with great sporting spirit she happily accepted it. Shouldnt we learn such spirit? Same with Sakshi, had she lost her hope, she would have been floored by the Khazakistan player easily. It was the few seconds, she reserved her place for bronze. And of course Deepa, who performed the best and won appreciation for her never let down performance though she couldnt win a medal. To those parents who push your children to any extent to win and when they dont, the way you make them feel worthless, this is tight slap on your face. Push your children to give their best not to win or loose. How many children and youngsters took to suicide unable to battle the pressure of loosing? Even after loosing, how many of us would have given several reasons or cried foul over the winner instead of accepting the fact? The attitude comes out of great upbringing, decent guidance and immense clarity. 

Knowing once own ground: I think the people, it could be the coach, parents or supporters who must hold the player to the roots at times instead of pushing them to aim for impossible feats. If you have watched Sindhus interview post the match, she clearly stated she never went there to win the medal. Her strategy was to take it match by match. Had she aimed for the Gold straight away, she could have underestimated her opponent and got over confident. She knew where she stood in her sport, she worked to better her skill rather than aiming to win something. She definitely had a dream to win a medal at Olympics but that did not push her to make desperate attempts. Again thanks to Gopichand for guiding her in the right direction. And of course her parents for not being so desperate about winning. In one of her interviews along with her dad, it was clear that her parents kept her rooted and clear of what is important. This never took away from believing and remaining with reality despite working her best.
I am also happy for another reason as I mentioned above that now many will look beyond cricket. Cricket has literally overshadowed all other sports. I grew up in a city where we got to move along with the best players of Badminton and Chess. We knew their achievements closely from time to time, we heard their names very often in school, college and in the neighborhoods. Somehow badminton and Chess were like one of common sports that saw some encouragement in my city. I am sure, it will go to the next level very soon. I so wish we encourage our children even in sports in the right spirits. Its not about the medals, the accolades, the rewards, but encourage them to enjoy the beauty of the sport.

#rioolympics2016  #pvsindhu  #gopichand  #sakshimalik

Cheers

Jyostna