Friday, May 27, 2016

Married Otherwise

"Marriages are made in Heaven" thats what we have been said and believed all these years....until recently, I thought marriage is between two individuals, their families and their social circle. But I was totally shocked to know the new trend of marriage(at least new to me) and there's a name to it too. Its called Open Marriage. The first time I got to know about this term is just couple of days ago. I was pulled into this fitness/diet group in Facebook which is obsessed with weight loss, fitness and diet. I dont have qualms about it, no wrong in being obsessed with healthy lifestyle but now and then there are these jerky strokes from some of the members posting anonymous questions seeking advice which blow me out. One such question was about Open Marriage, the lady who posted was in a dilemma as her open marriage secret was leaked to close family aide and she wants to be advised on how to deal with this problem. 
1st of all, when I first read the term, Open Marriage, I was wondering what kind of marriage it would be. I knew of gay marriages and trans-gender marriages too but this one seemed new. As I went on to find out the meaning, I was dumbstruck. In this kind of marriage, you are married to one but you have the liberty to choose multiple partners with the consent of your spouse. And these people get entertained at "swinger clubs"... Another new term for a matron like me. 
What shocked and disgusted me even more was those wisest ladies of the group pouring in suggestions usually about newest fitness activities, best dietary options etc have also jumped in to rescue this lady. And the lady's problem was not get out of the marriage but how to camouflage their living style. The wise ladies were so mature to not judge such marriages, they were so wise to not call it awkward. They advised the anonymous on how to handle such situations with all their wisdom and intellect. None of those who posted a comment were offensive. I was wondering, if its the growing tolerance towards such weird activities or maybe that didnt even appear weird to them the way it did to me. 
What I couldnt decipher about this sort of marriages is; why in the hell do they want to get into a marriage and then keep changing partners when all they need is a different partner every time. It is very degrading to see such concept to be associated to a sacred institution like marriage. Every culture respects marriage and believes its sacred and hence performed in spiritual sense. I maybe sounding too worried about something thats not known to many but imagine if so called wise ladies of the group (in Facebook) are so tolerant and nonjudgmental about this concept, what do you expect out of those youngsters desperate to experiment with their lives? Wouldnt this be a spoil sport for them??

When deepika padukone's my choice video released, there were many people who were gutted to hear the phrase my choice to chose a partner out of marriage. Because it sounded socially awkward, in others words unacceptable. Either you live in a marriage or get out of it but not sail in two boats. But what about these trending open marriages?? Are they not a threat for social living? Would you want your son or daughter to end up in an open marriage? Now one may ask, why are shouting your lungs out when two adults have mutual consent to choose other partners...because I found its perverse. 
Not all may agree with me but I wanted iterate a fact that, if this sort of activities are encouraged, we may end up with maddening lifestyles. The so called wise people today are way too tolerant about this kind of acts but are totally recalcitrant about normal social practices. And there are these over diplomatic celebrities who always are non judgmental about anything and everything unless it burns their own arse. Especially some ladies of the group that I mentioned are an example of over diplomacy and stupid ignorance of the reality. There wouldn't have been so many divorces/breakups if those couples have had so much maturity to handle infidelity like these folks do. 
I believe marriage is a commitment, I dont know if I am way too behind with the current trends to accept this sort of culture but the least I would expect is that they do not associate it with marriage. 

Cheers

Jyostna 

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