Thursday, November 15, 2012

Come back or Stay back

Hello Readers,

I hope your Diwali was celebrated with brightness and happiness. For my readers from the North, Wish you all a very happy new year.                                     
Its National Book Week my friends. Celebrate by picking up a good book that you have been longing to read and get engrossed. Most of you have an answer at the tip of your lip, that you are too busy to read or too bored about reading but as you know books are real good friends and I bet you will love reading once you start. 

Coming back or staying back??? Which one will you vote. No confusions, its all about residing abroad or returning home. I know this is the most trickiest question although it seems simple in words. Most of them have the confusion not essentially from the day, they arrive at a foreign land but when they start getting used to the place.
Like a famous Bollywood song goes "Ghar aaja Pardesi tera Des bulayi re" which means your 'motherland beckons you, come back'....this could have worked magically a decade ago but not any more. It was once an emotional rendition now its melodrama. Its a fact that many people who reside abroad love the motherland more than people residing here. However, the question is does the love bring them back??? Not really! It doesn't always work. Forget about the land, the nostalgia, the patriotism etc; but above and beyond all of these, for the two lovely people out here, how many want to come back? I know I sound like hypocrite. Let me clarify. When I was staying out of the country, I was also very confused about coming back. My career was a priority then, I assumed that I cannot survive happily here. I had many arguments with my parents who always wanted me to come back. The confusion was existing even after coming back...I never thought I would be happy with my decision. This is the problem with many people like me who were staying far away from home.
Wondering why am I writing about something that I myself didn't believe at one point? Well, I read an article recently written by geriatric expert whose daily dealings were with the elders, most of them all by themselves with no or least help from their children staying abroad. He mentioned this is the worst situation for any parent who have spent all their life in giving the best to their children. And when they need a helping hand, their children are out of reach. These parents cannot leave their motherland and end up living their last years in a foreign country. However, this is quite contrary to the elders from Gujarati communities. I have seen and known lot of Gujarati families(including elders) making home there with no qualms. But, this seldom happens with south Indian families.
While elders have hard time leaving the country, how about those youngsters who have made an attempt to come and stay back? Family friends of mine who have come back to stay with their parents after some 12 years of staying abroad, struggled to settle down in spite of so much advancements in lifestyle here. Be it with work or school for kids, they had hard time soaking in. Now, they are returning to their second home after trying for about 3 years to stay back. This happened with few other friends I know. God only knows, if this will happen to me as well. The question here is: why is that we are not able to settle down in the place that was home to us from the day we arrived in this world?? Is it the organised living that attracts the most or the ease of living?? According to me, our country's biggest disadvantage has been the struggle for basic needs. Our system is never reformed to function in an organised way. Daily dealings are not easy, they have to be struggled for, to be competed for and sometimes have to wait forever for them to happen.
Although there are drastic advancements in lifestyles, strong influences of the west among the urban crowds, it is still difficult to survive here for a person who has spent substantial amount of years abroad. Things seem much complicated, people seem narrow minded, and life seems messy around here for most of the returning folk. And of course, the reason to crave for motherland has also been diminishing. Gone are the days when people used to miss mother land be it the temples, the food, the culture and films, coz almost every nook in countries like USA, UK & Australia have Indian hubs. So, people hardly miss anything except for the "dharthi ka khushboo", "mitti ki shaan" (dramatic elements) :D
On a serious note, its hypothetical to decide who have to compromise...the elders or youngsters. While the elders want to spend a peaceful nostalgic life in the last few years of their journey, the youngsters have millions of miles to go.

And herez the interesting part, lets see if this seems hypothetical only to me or many others.

I want you readers to choose one of the option, please leave your response in the comment box.
a.) Coming Home 
b.) Staying back 
c.) Undecided. 




  1. One of my friends is in USA, herself and her husband were living in 2 different ends of America since 2 years. Every weekend she goes to movie with her frenz and he goes with his. What's fun in leading this kind of life?

    Coming to your point of taking care of elders, my brother moved to India from UK after a 10 years stay. Initially it was tough for him to adjust here in India. But I would say the level of his nagging has gradually reduced.

    I was one of those who had a real tough time while moving to India. But I should admit, presently I'm so very happy being in India.I'm least bothered about the daily dealings, struggle and suffer I go through. All that matters for me is whether my family is with me or not.

    1. You know what, career has become an obsession for many these days.Lot of people keep that as a top priority.The pace of life is also so rushed that,one wants to have a house,car,assets etc; before they turn 30.They are ready to sacrifice anything for this, parents, kids and spouse as well.Even if it requires them to stay miles away from each other, doesn't even allow them to attend their near&dear's marriage n sometimes funeral also...they think its all worth it.Forget those who are not financially strong, but what surprises me is that,there are people who are well put up n yet opt for a weekend marriage to earn more,who still want to earn in a foreign country in spite of having millions in homeland,n those who think career is important that motherhood even though the spouse earns well.And they give their own different reasons for all this.When people like you & me contradict,they think we are too judgmental about their situation. That is the why things seem hypothetical to me.